I see you looking at me
I know you wonder how perfect my life is
How you wish you had a minute of my existance
How you would glide on the nineth cloud may be higher
I see you look at me
But I wish to tell you that I also wonder how i have survived this intensive care unit I call existance
I have also wondered how breath has clung to this bones
I wonder how I made it to twenty two
When every minute of that breath I feelt like a stranger to my self
Always feeling like running a way from my body
Lost in my own skin
Scared like a mouse but I had to keep a brave face
I wish to tell you I understand the feeling of terror in the face of conversations
I am very familiar to the long the heart to stop beating
I am well vast with the feeling of the thread of judgy gods holding a soul to life
And insufficient conviction of afterlife pursuading the mind to hold on a little longer
All in all, I have been on delicate life support of a whimsical desire to succeed
And the need to help someone cross this dark scary valley
All in all
All is vanity
But One thing; The Love of people who care for me
It is worth holding on for, it is worth living for
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